Things to remember

I keep thinking about things I should hold on to, you know, trinkets 'to remember' her by. We're not really an heirloom type of family. I don't think there's anything really old or special that's been passed down amongst us. At first, when I thought about that it made me a bit sad. When I considered it more I started to ask myself what kind of thing I would want to have passed down to me and I came up with nothing. I got to thinking about how shallow an heirloom is and how many things, tangible things, I have already in my possession that were passed to me from my mother.

I will never mix a cake batter or pull a sheet of cookies from the oven without thinking of her. I hear her telling me how to measure flour (with a spoon and butter knife) every time I bake anything. Baking is one of my favorite things to do, and that joy is directly related to hours spent helping my mom in the kitchen.

I wish I'd learned sooner, but mom taught me to sew last year and I've loved it ever since. I know I'll never thread a bobbin or cut a pattern without her in my head.

These hobbies are shallow things too compared to the multitude of other lessons I learned from my mom. How to love. How to be compassionate. How to be selfless for the good of the people you love most. Good humor in the face of sorrow and adversity. If my mom wasn't who she is I know that I wouldn't have the skills or strength to get through this grief. And I know that I will pass those same gifts to the people I love. So I guess that's our family's heirloom... the lessons we learn from each other. Pass that down.